I`m a poor lone-some cowboy,
I`m a poor lone-some cowboy,
I`m a poor lone-some cowboy,
And a long way from home.
I ain`t got no brother,
I ain`t got no brother,
I ain`t got no brother,
To ride the range with me.
— Unknown
Terry bought Ronan a great little cowboy doll. Very cute. Very age-appropriate. Very fun, right? Wrong.
Perhaps the delivery method was incorrect. Terry left the cowboy in his crib while he slept, thinking he would play with it. Instead he woke up with a lifeless brother, we guess, who creeped Ronan right the fuck out. Poor lone-some cowboy got tossed and tossed hard as soon as Ronan woke up. Ronan threw his sorry butt right out of the crib, and that cowboy ain't welcome here no more.
Actually, we’ve tried to encourage him to rethink the anti-cowboy animosity by leaving poor lone-some cowboy around to play with, but Ronan just beats him up and throws him out of the way for good measure. Leave poor lone-some cowboy in the toy stroller? Haul his ass out and put in a Metrocard. Yes, that’s what I said, a metrocard. Ronan prefers playing with a metrocard to an actual toy.
Poor lone-some cowboy didn’t have a chance. Perhaps the anti-cowboy thing has to do with Ronan’s love of technology. It’s not surprising that with two highly technological parents (we have more computers than rooms in our apartment) he would be interested in technology. Ronan loves watching plane videos. Since our recent trip to visit the grandparents, he can’t wait to go back to the airport, even if he did get a little scared when the plane home took off. He’s obsessed with planes. Every sighting leads to shouts of “Plane! Plane! See? Right there!!” One night he wouldn’t go to sleep because he was watching the moon, so it could be astronomical as well.
But why hate on the cowboy? That’s a question we will probably never know. Perhaps he was trampled by a steer in a previous life. Perhaps he was left for dead in a hanging, only to live to hunt down those responsible. Perhaps once he lived by the laws of the West and poor lone-some cowboy didn’t.
Or perhaps the cowboy doll is actually a little creepy, and we just can’t see it from the perspective of a two-year-old. Whatever the reason is, that damned cowboy is never going to be welcome on our ranch.